I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Let's paint friendship bongs
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
