I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
