let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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