Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
