Having a random hookup so left but love u
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
