Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Randomize
