I could have mohawked her pubes.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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