It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
