he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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