Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
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