pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
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