I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
