Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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