I should be sponsored by Trojan
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
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