Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Randomize
