You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Randomize
