ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
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