They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Randomize
