the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
