My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
Randomize
