So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Randomize
