i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
