So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Randomize
