Pants 0. Shit 1.
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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