Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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