So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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