He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
