I didn't shave. On purpose
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
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