i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Randomize
