Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Acid is not a monday night drug
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Randomize
