ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Randomize
