It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Are my feet made of real feet?
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
