I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
