Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
