she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Everclear isn't food dammit
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Randomize
