yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Randomize
