he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
