She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
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