Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
The air taste purple.
Randomize
