Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Randomize
