Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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