I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize