Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Randomize
