Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
