You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Randomize
