is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
