so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize
