Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
