Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
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