when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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