Umm I'm too high to move.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
