So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
We're too hungover to prance.
Randomize
