And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
