It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
